January 2, 2025

Hold Your Emotional Shake

From Alcoholic to Carnivore:

The New Year is always a meaningful point of reflection for me as it was January of 2022 that I finally decided to make meaningful lifestyle changes. I decided to give up alcohol; the first of several meaningful changes I've made since. As a daily drinker who met the qualifications for someone suffering alcohol abuse, this was a total paradigm shift that made the following changes possible for me.

I began following a ketogenic diet and white-knuckled my way through eleven relentless days of sugar withdrawal and cravings. As I adjusted to a fat-fueled diet, the cravings for sugary foods lowered to the point that I could readily resist temptations for non-keto friendly foods. I consumed many books on the topic and learned how powerful diet and lifestyle changes can be to restoring metabolic function, thereby impacting our entire physiology. I was relieved and delighted to discover a newfound sense of calm and mental clarity that followed.

While I knew there was no going back to a Standard American approach to eating, I still struggled with the need to track to limit my carbohydrates to keep me in ketosis. I still battled cravings which often let to binges on nuts and nut butters.

When I read accounts of people saying that eating a meat-only diet provided relief from cravings, I was too curious to not find out for myself. June of 2022, I began following a Carnivore Diet of meat and animal products and have been doing so ever since.

The relief from cravings came within a matter of days, my body odor from imbalanced hormones disappeared, joint and lower back pain alleviated, my tooth sensitivity vanished, belly bloat was non-existent and I no longer dealt with urinary incontinence. The anxiety I was used to managing with a keto diet lessened even more as the mental chatter in my mind quieted and I found myself feeling content and peaceful.

Following a carnivore diet has not always been smooth sailing for me. Despite many early challenges, I continue to embrace this way of eating as a powerful means of healing. I no longer suffer chronic digestive distress, hormonal imbalance, and poor mental health.

Physical Change:

In the spring of 2023, I began incorporating routine exercise into my life. As our family of four settled in the mountains of Eastern Tennessee, we joined the local YMCA and ventured out to the many nearby hiking trails. At this point, I am proud to have maintained consistency in my fitness efforts, lifting weights and getting stronger.

One aspect of my "results" following this meat-based way of eating, is atypical and ever-so-slightly frustrating. Despite not deviating from the diet, my body has increased in size. Yes, I am stronger and have developed more muscle. Yes, I have also gained additional stores of fat. I also enjoy significantly improved hormonal and emotional regulation as a result, thus improving the quality of my relationships with others. As someone who has lived with life-long body image issues, this part of my healing journey has been a tough pill to swallow. It also has been the source of immense personal growth as I have had to confront the very limiting belief that my worth is derived from my physical appearance.

As I have witnessed my body change in ways both miraculous and curious, I have been gifted the opportunity to learn to practice gratitude for all my body is, does, and has been through. I thank it for protecting me in the best ways it can and marvel at the resiliency of the human body.

Mindfulness is Paramount

Throughout my health and wellness journey, I have learned the power of mindfulness. I've journaled as a means of identifying and releasing my thoughts. I've used tapping techniques to self-regulate. I've gone through several seasons of meditating daily (for a couple months at a time). And then I've poured over my life lessons in hours-long conversations with my amazingly supportive and insightful sister (aka. my unpaid therapist). In many ways, I find mindfulness to be the key to successful personal growth.

Mindfulness makes us aware of where we currently are and challenges us to be intentional with our actions and habits. Daily habits shape who we are and how we interact with the world. Focusing on building a lifestyle based on healthy habits is what leads me towards and through further growth and expansion.

After three years of actively working to improve my health and wellness including the two and a half years as a carnivore, I can say I am a wildly changed individual. But I'm not yet who I want to be.

Overcoming Myself:

Physically, I am strong, capable, and vital. I feel good. I recognize that it takes anywhere from 2-5 years for many people to restore fully metabolic health and function. Maybe less, maybe more, depending on the individual. I personally see steady, sustained improvement while knowing I am only halfway "there".

Mentally, I am stronger, more capable, more resilient. Yet I often find myself squaring up against limiting beliefs or old patterns of thoughts and behaviors. In much the same way that I've worked to help my body heal, reducing inflammation and providing it with proper nutrients, I also continue to soak in new sources of information to aid in transforming my mind and spirit into that of a fully self-actualized person who loves herself and lives in her power.

Reading has always been one of my preferred means for gathering info. In service of this, we've read some incredible books for CWC's Monthly Book Club- Why We Get Sick by Ben Bikman, Change Your Diet Change Your Mind By Georgia Ede, and Comfort Crisis by Michael Easter.

For December 2024, the book of the month was Energy Rising by Julia DiGangi, a neuroscientist with both research and clinical experience. In her book, she talks about how we can learn to expand our emotional energy to harness our emotional power. There's no way I can do her message justice myself, so I'll link a great YouTube interview she did where she covers much of the same content as her book.

As Dr. DiGangi talks about expanding one's emotional power, she says it WILL feel uncomfortable. The emotional energy of feeling uncomfortable is a sign that we are at the edge of our emotional power.

If we want to expand our emotional power, we have to be willing to "sit with" the feeling of uncertainty that comes with doing something challenging. It is only then that we will be more readily able to do it again.

For example, if you want to be able to lift 40 pounds but can currently only lift 20 pounds, then you'll need to incrementally increase the amount of weight you attempt to lift. Each time we step outside our comfort zone, deviating from the wired patterns of thoughts and behaviors that are our "default", we rewire our brains to learn that we can survive that discomfort.

One concept Dr. DiGangi discusses in her book is that many of us engage in avoidance strategies to keep us "safe". This spoke directly to me. I often avoid "putting myself out there" to avoid rejection. I'm hesitant to speak up or share because I fear the judgement of others. I stay small because that is the behavior pattern that has kept me safe up to this point and my brain knows that these behaviors have all led to my survival in the past and I am therefore likely to survive if I continue to engage in these behaviors.

But I don't just want to survive. I want to THRIVE. In order to do that, I have to expand. I have to step outside of my comfort zone. I have to overcome my fear of humiliation. I have to choose to believe and know that I am worthy and act accordingly.

This brings me to the title of this article: Hold Your Emotional Shake.

Hold the Shake:

As I have sought personal growth and self improvement, I have had to hold my emotional shake. Starting something new can be fun and exhilarating at first. The novelty is a motivator in and of itself. However, as new ways of thinking or acting take hold, challenges (often in the form of self-doubt and a self-critical mentality) can cause us to faulter, or shake, in our efforts to hold the line.

When I first gave up alcohol and got serious about being sober, I was full of that sense of fear and uncertainty. Thoughts of "No one will find me interesting." "I'm too socially awkward to not drink." "What will I do for fun?" and so on flooded my mind. I had to hold the emotional shake. I had to stay strong. I had to embody the truth that my life is better without alcohol.

The amount of emotional power I gained from holding the emotional shake from that ONE SINGLE lifestyle change gave me the power to continue slaying my demons. Giving up sugar and going keto was another expansion. Journaling and being real with myself about my feelings required holding the shake. Leaning into self-trust and trying carnivore in the face of all the nutritional myths that run counter to this way of eating took a fair amount of holding my shake. Staying the course when early carnivore challenges arose took a whole heck of a lot of holding the emotional shake- which I don't know if I could have done without being part of a carnivore community.

Even now, hosting Carnivore Wellness Community meetings, figuring out what I want my online presence to look like (as social media is not my jam), and sharing my story in a semi-public way all makes me pretty uncomfortable. I even have a detailed outline of a memoir that I aim to write and publish one day which will require that I expand my emotional power past its current limits.

I have to go toe-to-toe with my fear of rejection each and every time I share a part of my life with others. Despite the discomfort, I choose it. I choose to push myself to the edge of what I'm already comfortable with so that I can grow. Sharing this current writing (and the future articles I challenge myself to write and share) is exactly that: an expansion of my emotional power that results from holding my emotional shake.